How You Can Gain Energy (Through Alignment and Resonance)
I know there are people right now who feel drained, tired, flat, and experience friction in life.
So I'm pulling back the curtain on my one-woman show. I want to share my journey with you and how it's unexpectedly giving me more energy and happiness. Even though it's a bit of a stretch and honestly a little scary, it's recharging me in a way that no business strategy ever could.
This blog isn't about time management or self-care because what I've discovered is that true energy doesn't just come from rest. It comes from deep alignment, expression, and this coaching term: “resonance”. Meaning to be in energy.
Side Note: Join Behind the Curtain
I started a Facebook group called Behind the Curtain with Diane Rolston. It's free. Jump in, and I'm going to share more tidbits, the actual nuts and bolts of me doing the new woman show. I might even come to you like a board of directors and ask questions I'm not sure about. You'll get other secrets and tips and be the first to know when the preview of the one-woman show is going to happen.
Resonance as Real Fuel
There are tasks I have to do in business and life that I don't want to do that I can't even delegate to my virtual assistants. They can rob my energy.
In comparison, when I do things that are more aligned to what I'm currently needing, or more aligned to my values, it gives me energy. It's this lightness, this bouncy feeling, and it helps me stay true to who I am, or at this moment, who I feel called to be, and what I feel called to say.
When you do what resonates with you, something in alignment that honours your values, you're going to feel energy, ease, and flow. It's about choosing to do these things, not just what impresses people, not just what you should do, not just what pleases others, and definitely not things that dishonor your values. When you actually do things in alignment for you, your energy doesn't just grow or show up, it multiplies.
My Counseling Session Revelation
I was in the middle of a counseling session (I'm doing some counseling to clear out and process old emotions around my dad's death, trauma over the years, just things you keep pushing down). I'd been feeling down about some health stuff, and then I started talking about this one-woman show, and I got animated.
These are ways you show you’re in resonance and feeling that alignment:
- talking more with your hands
- excited tone
- speaking faster
- feeling light
- using positive, energy-evoking words.
That's when I realized, "Wow, I'm in resonance right now." My counsellor said, "Whoa. That was a shift."
This was the realization: I need to be more in this. I'm in the right place, and it's good for me. True energy doesn't come from just doing more (we can always do more, we can always add to our schedules, please don't). It comes from doing what aligns with your values, your purpose, and your joy.
If you don't know your values, send me an email: [email protected]. I can do a values session where you find your values, see if you're honouring or dishonouring them, and put a plan in place so you can feel this energy all the time.
Resonance is that feeling of "this fits, this is me, this is where I'm supposed to be." When your actions match your values, you create energy —like throwing kerosene on a fire —rather than pouring water on it, taking away its power and energy.
Dissonance: The Opposite
Dissonance is the opposite. It's hard, like pushing a rock up a hill. There's friction; it's draining, and you dread it —maybe even avoid it.
When you're doing something that deeply matters to you, like my creative work on this one-woman show, I can work for hours and still feel alive. Maybe you've felt that way:
- "I'm so passionate about cooking, I can cook all day."
- "I love graphic design, I can do it for hours and don't even realize I haven't eaten."
When you're out of alignment, even the smallest task feels heavy. The worst part is you start trying to get yourself to do more, do it better, thinking something's wrong with you, but really you're just out of alignment and out of resonance.
The Science Behind It
Studies show that when you live in alignment with your core values, you experience higher motivation, stronger emotional resilience, and 20% more daily energy.
When I talk about this and people ask, "What's new?" and I say, "I'm writing a one-woman show," I get giddy and excited. It's like, I'm sharing that I'm going on vacation."
Alignment isn't a mindset trick like saying 10 affirmations. It's actually biological. When your actions match your purpose, your nervous system relaxes, your creativity increases, and you restore energy while doing the work.
If you're in dissonance and energy is being drained, it's hard, negative, you dread it, and your nervous system gets tense like waiting in a really long lineup to pay a bill, or doing taxes or another task you hate.
The Benefits of Resonance
- More Energy: You stop forcing yourself and it starts fueling you. For example, I don't naturally wake up wanting to write my one-woman show eight hours a day. I still need a writing class and coach. But when I'm in it, I'm excited. After my Monday night writing class (four to six), after a full work day when I'd already coached clients, had meetings, made dinner. I get off, and my husband asks, "How was it?" and I was like, "It was so great!"
- More Drive: The purpose and what you're doing becomes a motivator instead of pressure. You will enjoy that natural drive.
- More Happiness: You start to feel more content even while working hard. Even though it was the end of a busy day when I'd already given through emotional labor, I still felt good because I was doing what felt energizing.
- More Ease: In dissonance, you feel friction, like sandpaper or pushing a rock up a hill. In resonance, you move throughout your day without second-guessing or overthinking. Things are congruent. It's easy to be motivated, get working on things, and move projects forward.
This is what I've been experiencing as I write my show. Yes, there are hard times. I'm not inherently a writer. I don't know how to write scripts. I'm learning dialog. My writing coach keeps saying, "Diane, you just wrote a great speech. Now we have to bring it to the stage." I'm having to learn and rewire my brain, but this fulfillment creates energy. Rather than feeling like I have a learning gap, I'm like a sponge.
Why Alignment Feels Hard
It's not always easy to say yes to things. In your business or life, there are things that create resonance and things that create dissonance.
1. Society's Expectations: Maybe you have a nine-to-five or a business different from your hobbies or passions. It goes against what society thinks we should be spending our time and money on.
I've had clients say, "Diane, I don't want a promotion. I don't want to build my business. Is it wrong that I just want to be at home and make crafts with my kids and feed them grilled cheese sandwiches?" I reassure them, "No, not if that’s your dream and ideal life." All the tasks we do, all the ways we choose to spend our time, and the goals we have don't need to be what society deems as success.
We shouldn’t say yes to things that don't match our values, but we do it to keep the peace, keep up with the Joneses, because we feel we should, or because others around us are doing it.
2. Staying in Obligations That Don't Fit: I remember being part of a networking group with amazing people, but 60-70% served the senior market. My business advisor asked, "Is this serving your business?" I said, "Well, no, but they're good people." He said, "How often are you seeing your friends?" and "You don't need to stay in a group that no longer serves you."
3. Confusing Productivity with Purpose: We're doing more, but feeling less. We're in less resonance, less energy, and have less motivation. As overachieving women, we override our inner signals saying "Don't do this." We say yes to things that don't serve us and push through even when something feels off.
Your body and your energy always tell the truth when you're out of alignment. Have you been invited somewhere and hesitated to say yes? That's you saying you don't want to go. If you wanted to go, your energy would be like "Yes, yes."
I was speaking to a theater about their artists’ hub program. At first, I thought, "Is it too much work? Too much commitment? Am I already so far in my business that I'd be around younger or newer people?" But when I got off that call, I was so excited. I was like, "Who can I tell?" So I knew that was a yes.
If you hesitate or start to feel exhausted, irritated, or lack motivation, it's not in alignment.
The Cost of Misalignment
When you're in misalignment, in dissonance, it doesn't just drain energy, it dulls your joy. I've seen clients come to me living in black and white, but when you live in alignment, in resonance, your color comes back. Like the start of The Wizard of Oz when everything's in black and white, then all of a sudden comes to colour.
High-achieving women, successful women, will work harder when they feel unhappy or that something's missing, but it doesn’t help they just feel emptier and more tired. You get to a point where you don't even know why you started. You don't have clarity. You slowly start living a version of success that only looks good on paper but doesn't feel good inside.
That's why I had to leave corporate. My life looked so good on paper, and that's why I held on for so long. I was measuring life according to success - and it looked good. I wasn't measuring my life according to satisfaction, or even giving satisfaction, resonance, or alignment any space because I didn't know about them.
Your Alignment Check
- What in your life or business feels off right now? What doesn't feel good?
- What used to energize you, but now feels heavy? I could look at that networking group I was a part of. It used to energize me, then it wasn't a fit anymore.
- What decision, project, or direction feels true, even if it scares you a little? I kept having things pushing me towards theater, towards a one-woman show. In business, I wouldn't have started Virtual Assistant Made Easy if it wasn't for me hearing these little prompts to move forward.
That little voice, your alignment, the resonance, the energy, that's a compass for where you should go. You don't have to have it all figured out. Just take the next step. The more you listen to it, the more natural energy and joy you're going to create, even if it's just "I'd like to paint a picture" or "I want to organize my closets." If those things bring you joy, happiness, resonance… amazing. Go do them.
When you honour what resonates in your life and work, things feel easy, not a grind. There's that flow.
Join Me
One more invite to join me in the Behind the Curtain Facebook group.
If you want to explore this topic more, email me: [email protected]. Let's talk about getting you into more resonance.
If you have a few questions you want to run by me, I'm doing a Mastermind Q&A session on November 14, from 9 to 11 AM PST. It's a mastermind where you ask and I answer, or you can bring your goals, and we can strategize and map out the next steps.
Final Thoughts
I've learned that energy isn't something you chase or schedule. It's cultivated, it's birthed, and it grows through alignment and being in resonance. The more you live, work, and create in resonance with your truth, the more energy and fulfillment you'll have, not only in your own life but to lead others.
That's how I'm gaining energy right now, writing my one-woman show. I just got accepted to the artists’ program at a local theatre, and I'm so pumped. I'm doing something in resonance and giving me energy, but also something that scares me a little, stretches me a little, but at the end of the day feels so deeply aligned.
I want the same for you.
Until next time, stay dynamic!