We are Starved for this - How to Deal with “I am NOT Enough”

Aug 26, 2021

The world is starved for Recognition AND Appreciation. Are you part of the problem?

I think a lot of it comes from what would be considered the number one limiting belief, which is “I am not enough."

We are constantly judging ourselves. (And by “we” I mean women.) We are comparing ourselves to high standards. Now maybe not everyone has the same standards, but there’s often at least one of these questions...

Am I good enough?
Am I doing enough?
Am I being enough?
Am I achieving enough?
Am I successful enough?
Am I making enough?

There's always judgment. Sadly, it can be by us, by friends, by family, by society, or by culture.
It's very easy for us to feel starved for recognition, starved for appreciation because we're needing to feel like we're enough.

Now, let me ask you:

Are you part of the problem?
Are you not appreciating others?
Are you not recognizing others?
Or are you on the receiving end of not getting enough recognition and not feeling appreciated?

First of all, if this is happening to you or happening to those around you, this is how people feel when they are not recognized or appreciated. They feel a little bit like, “Why bother?”

Why am I bothering to show up for my friend?
Why am I bothering to do these things for my family?
Why am I bothering to work so hard for my company or this other person's company?

And when you're in that place of “Why bother?” you feel apathetic. You're not driven. You're not driven to achieve.

Can you relate to that? What area in your life do you feel underappreciated? Have you done things that have gone unrecognized? You may have been in one of these situations:

Maybe you donated your time to an organization, and you don't feel like you're appreciated.
Maybe you've worked hard every single day for a company, and you don't get even a “Thanks” every once in a while.
Maybe you feel like your performance reviews are focusing on what you can do better, but not what you've done well.

If you are suffering from this, I'm sorry, that sucks! I'm on a mission to teach people to easily combat this.

Acknowledge Others

If we just change the conversations we're having by doing this one thing I'm going to share, the world would be a better place.

If you're doing this action properly every single day:

you’ll build your network,
you'll attract more connections,
you'll build stronger relationships,
you'll retain employees longer.
Overall, you will be happier. You will be happier!

Simple Solution

You can acknowledge others. I'm sure you already know how to compliment someone. You say things like:

“That's a beautiful jacket.”
“Oh, I just love those boots.”
“Thanks, the meal was so delicious.”
“Your hair looks great.”
“Where'd you get that necklace? It's gorgeous!”

Since you know how to compliment, we can now move to acknowledging a person for who they are, what they have done, and who they’re being. This tells the person they have good qualities, they’re liked and they’re more than good enough!

It's really simple. It's four words, or it's five words.

Five-Word Version

The five-word version is “You are a/an + adjective + the role or title that they have (sister, brother, mother, father, friend).” We can acknowledge them for really any role or any title. For example, you can say, “You are a driven entrepreneur."

For a more personal example, my daughter made a beautiful “Dream Big” picture. I can say to her, “You are a creative artist” or “You are an imaginative designer."

Four-Word Version

This is supposed to be super-duper simple. An example is, “You’re a loving mother.” Here, “you are” just becomes “you’re."

I want you to be thinking about short and sweet. Just give them the full acknowledgement and drop it there.

By acknowledging someone else, you are giving them a word gift. It's an acknowledgement to who they are as a person. You are witnessing something good in them, a good skill, a good quality, or a good trait.

How would you feel if you received one of these acknowledgments? Pretty darn good! You’d feel awesome!

You definitely feel positive.
You're going to feel more confident.
You're going to feel more motivated to try even harder, especially on this specific thing that you said.

Key thing is, if you want them to have a positive reaction, then you want to make sure that you stop after four/five words.

Don’t Mess it Up

Sometimes when I do this activity with clients or women in my Dynamic Woman Global Community, they want to add on, and add on, and add on more reasons. When you add on the reason why you said the acknowledgment, they might grab onto it and then make it untrue. For example, you go to an event that is really well put together and really well decorated. So you say to the host. “Thank you. You are a fantastic host.” This is a great acknowledgement and well received. But you don’t stop there, you mention the balloon decorations, the platters of food and the music. Now the host doesn't think they’re a great host because they ordered the balloons, the food was catered and your friend organized the music.

And it may be fine if you want to maybe add one more adjective. You can say, “You’re a loving and caring friend.” But wouldn't it be nice to use one and make it the focal point or the center of it. You can also drop the title or role and just say, “You're so loving” or “You're so loyal.” But it sometimes helps to give a little context. For instance, if I said to a friend, “You’re so strong.” Is that physically strong, mentally strong, emotionally strong, or strong to get through things?

On the other hand, if I said, “You're such a strong athlete.” We know it's physically strong. Giving the title gives some context.

Be part of the solution

In the beginning, I said that the world is starved for appreciation and recognition. If you are going to help to solve this problem, let's talk about what that would look like.

Let's say someone had surgery that they had to face or they're going to be facing, and you said, “You're such a courageous woman,” left it at that, just let that land that's going to positively affect that person's circumstances.

It's going to start to squash and push down the saboteur’s negative thoughts and negative self-judgments and negative limiting beliefs that come up.

Acknowledgements are so simple. I encourage you to look for opportunities to give these gifts. They don't cost a cent. With what's going on in the world today, we really need to be seen in a positive way. We need to be reinforced and given that energy of an acknowledgement from someone else and then that will ripple out to others. Maybe they then look to acknowledge others as well. Maybe you will start to get acknowledged more.

When you do this in an authentic way, it builds positivity and awesomeness with you and that person.

Answer these questions:

Are you part of the problem that people are starved for recognition and appreciation?
Do you want to be part of the solution?
Do you want to be someone who just goes about their day, every week, every month, continuing to acknowledge others and know that when you do, you will be rewarded?

This is one aspect of pillar number six in my Dynamic You Program and book where I talk about being Magnetic. When you can do this to connect with others, to be more approachable, and to be positive, people will be drawn to you.

This is how I said that you're going to be able to build your network. If you do this action every day, you're going to be able to attract more connections. You're going to build stronger relationships. If you have employees, you'll retain them longer. And overall, you will be happier.

It doesn't cost you a thing to say these four or five words. I encourage you to do so. Let me know how many you could do in one day. Could you do 5? 10? A hundred? Let me know how it goes and let me know how the other person responded.

How did you make them feel by giving them that acknowledgement? You don't have to ask them. Just check in with them. What do you notice? How did they receive it?

I am a coach, a speaker, and I run the Dynamic Women Global Community. It's a place I love to go live. I love to give tips, tricks, and training on how to be more dynamic in all areas of life. This Online Facebook Group is complimentary. You are welcome to join!

I appreciate you. I appreciate you because without you being here to read my blogs, I couldn't do the work I do. Thank you very much.

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