We’re Not Meant to Be “On” All the Time

We're not meant to be “on” all the time.

Have you ever been praised for being “on”, but what if that's the very thing that's draining your power, your energy, and your happiness?

What "Being On" Looks Like

Being “on” looks like:

• You feel like you have to perform
• You're responding
• You're producing
• You're managing everyone else's energy around you

If you've ever had to present or coach someone or be in a meeting when you felt tired, sick or drained, but you still had to do it, then that's the moment you feel on.

Maybe some of the work you're doing, if you're in the service industry, is emotional labor because you're having to put on a smile, be kind, and helpful to people when maybe you don't feel like it, or potentially they don't deserve it.

My Story: My Nervous System Needed Help

I've realized my nervous system needs help. I've had to be “on” for so long. Yes, I've made changes. I have two virtual assistants. I don't schedule myself as much. I've set boundaries. But hitting a certain age, being in perimenopause, and all the things that happened over the past five years? My nervous system has taken a real hit.

I didn't realize that until I went to my physio because I'd hurt my calf at soccer (yes, I still play soccer, though right now I'm not). In talking with her, I realized that my nervous system needs a little bit of a reboot.

In order for me to sustain the business, sustain myself, and be a great leader, it's important that I take the time to be able to do that.

Our bodies weren't designed for constant performance, constantly being “on”. Neither was your leadership. Neither is that going to be the best way to be your top self and happy at the same time.

The Physical Impact

When you're in that constant output, your nervous system can get stuck in fight or flight. It could be mild. It could be severe.

For me, it was little things like:

• I wasn't breathing correctly
• My cortisol has been flipped (It flipped. It’s really low in the morning and not giving me the boost I need, and is high at night keeping me wired.)

Maybe you've had that too. Some of these things could be stress-induced from the work you're doing, from the high level of leadership that you're in, or maybe the season that you're in as a woman.

What Happens When Constant Output Continues

When that constant output is happening:

• Your creativity can decline
• Your intuition starts to get quieter
• Your patience shrinks

You know this because maybe you're barking back at people, maybe you're putting out a lot of fires, and things feel really urgent.

I spoke in a recent post about how you're capable. You're capable, but that doesn't mean you need to do everything yourself. But it's also true that you could be capable and still be dysregulated.

Feminine Rhythms vs. Linear Hustle

Women are cyclical. We have our cycles. Nature has cycles and seasons as well. This is also referring back to a previous post I did: What season are you in? Are you in a momentum season or a maintenance season?

The same thing should be true around these seasons, around our leadership energy. This should also be cyclical. We shouldn't have to be “on” at this high level all the time, all year.

I coach a lot of women who say, "I could do this high level output for a little while, but then it just became the norm."

If we have that constant output, constantly having to be “on” and produce and perform, it's going to start ignoring our own biology, ignoring our intuition and who we are meant to be.

We're not meant to have this linear hustle all the time. We're meant to cycle through things.

When we override our nervous system, we override our wisdom as well.

You can probably relate that there have been times when you knew you were tired and you knew you couldn't handle anymore, but you were a trooper. You put your big girl panties on and you made it happen. But it's not necessarily a good place for you.

Rest Is a Leadership Skill

Rest is a leadership skill. Rest is a necessity.