You Don't Need More Willpower, You Need More of This
You may think that to reach your goals, you need more willpower, but you don't. The problem isn't discipline. It's trying to carry growth, decisions, and momentum all alone.
You don't need more willpower. You need more support. In your life. In your business. In your career. Or whatever it may be.
Imagine This
Just for a moment, think about how different the year would be if you felt this way…
- You didn't have to self-motivate all the time
- You had a place and people to talk things through with
- You could easily reset every single month instead of starting over
Reaching your goals, having a great life, and having the success and satisfaction you want isn’t about pushing harder. We often think, "Let's just do more, let's be more, let's have more in our calendar." That's not the case. Sometimes it's just about consistent support.
My Realization
There have been many times in my life when I felt like I couldn't quite get where I needed to be. I was capable and committed, but the workload felt heavier than it needed to be.
I remember a time when I was launching these programs. I knew they were great, and others did too, but I wasn't getting the results I needed. I couldn't understand it. If I were just to use willpower, which oftentimes I resort to (maybe you do as well), it had me pushing harder and pushing through the troubles. It had me handling decisions alone. It ended up being a quiet burnout that was starting to take me out.
The realization I had was that I didn't need more discipline. I didn't need to do more. I just needed support.
That's when I knew I had to tap back into my coach and my mastermind group to bounce ideas off them, get strategy, and have them cheer me on.
It was freeing to realize that willpower isn't the solution, and having people around me was so much more fun.
The Truth About Willpower
High-achieving women are taught: just try harder, be stronger, and you should be able to figure it out yourself. We do, right? We totally do. But at what cost? Late nights trying to get over the doubt, or even when you are doing well, and it's just feeling hard.
The truth is that willpower is finite. There's only a certain amount that we can have, and even if we're at a very high level, it doesn't always recharge. We burn through it, and then what are we going to do?
Support instead is sustaining. Support is invigorating, motivating, and confirming.
If you're growing with willpower only, your growth will stall. It's not laziness, it's isolation.
What Support Actually Does
Two different ways of support and each has it’s own purpose:
- Support where you're just receiving it, and you don't have to give it back.
- Support in an equal environment where you can give and receive support.
Three things support gives you:
1. Perspective When You're Too Close
I love this Les Brown quote: "When you're in the frame, you can't see the picture." Because you're in it, you can't see it.
I can remember this one time I was trying to figure out what my "one thing" was. I kept saying to myself, "What is it? What is it?" I was trying various approaches.
Eventually, I brought this to a little coaching triad I had (two coaches and me, three people). I said to them, "I just don't know. I'm trying to figure out what my thing is, and I’ve been trying for a long time." They said, "Diane, isn't it that?" It was right in front of my face, but I couldn't see it because I was too close.
2. Language for What You're Feeling
A lot of times, coaches have been able to reframe things for me to say, "Oh, it sounds like you are running on low. It sounds like you're frustrated by this. It sounds like you may have self-abandoned in that situation. Now you're feeling guilt or shame or frustration and disappointment."
I was like, "Yes, yes." Sometimes I knew that was the thing, and just having them confirm that, witness me, was enough. Other times, they actually gave me the sense that I finally had my solution: "Oh, that's it, that's it."
By understanding how I felt, I was able to determine what I needed to do to move past it.
3. Permission to Pause and Recalibrate
When you have someone with you, they provide that space so that you can say, "Yeah, I didn't think of it that way," or "Yeah, these are some possibilities."
If we don't have that permission to pause, we just keep going. We keep trying to push and go, go, go, go. It's like you're on a train, and you never get off enough to check that you're actually going in the right direction, or to get on the correct train in the direction you need to go (that's the recalibration piece).
We need space to pause, think, brainstorm, double-check, tune in, and recalibrate. To make a change, to just do one degree to the other side, to step back in and recommit.
Momentum Comes from Support, Not Pressure
Momentum doesn't come from pressure, but from accountability. It's kind of funny when I hear my clients say, "Oh yeah, I did that right before the call," or "I did that last night." So a little bit of accountability was helpful in that case, but not pressure that feels like guilt. That's not what we're looking for.
Momentum comes from that ability to reflect and then to reinforce that decision that you have made to move forward, whatever that goal is.
I know that, for myself, when I'm showing up in a group, I make sure my work is done because I want to be as committed as everyone else. Being in a space where everyone is committed to their own goals, whether big or small, life or business-focused. Having the right support and accountability really does move you forward.
I know that many times, I wouldn't be where I am if I were relying solely on my own accountability. Isn't it odd that we're okay with dropping things for ourselves but not for others? We stay committed to other people's things, but not our own.
What My Clients Discovered
This topic came up because I conducted wrap-up calls with clients from The Breakthrough in 2025. They shared these comments about the monthly calls with the group which are something new I had added in:
- "Wow, I didn't realize how much I needed them.”
- “The monthly calls kept me grounded.”
- “Just hearing others helped me move forward."
It's that "I know I'm not in this alone," or hearing someone else be coached by me, that gives them the learning they need as well. The key thing was they weren't behind. They just needed a place to land and reset.
We used to hold meetings just once a year when we made the blueprint, and with those I kept coaching, I saw how much better they did than those who went it alone. But when I started adding the quarterly calls, their results began to improve. Then I realized quarterly isn't enough, because that's only four times a year they get that check-in. They needed more.
Just like if you were going to practice the piano, you need to do it more than just four times a year. You need to do it consistently to improve. The ability to tap into the group, get support and coaching, and be accountable at least once a month has moved them far beyond the goals they set for themselves.
The Breakthrough 2026
A reminder: doors are open right now for The Breakthrough Program.
In 2026, if you don't have a place that you can get that reset, accountability, reflection, to be able to see what's in the frame, to see what the picture looks like, then I invite you to join.
It's not that the women needed more information to reach their goals. It's because they finally had that support, the support that had been lacking in the previous years.
The Breakthrough 2026 is a year-long coaching experience designed to help you avoid relying on willpower. Each month, there's a call where you can reflect, recalibrate, and stay connected to what matters most, even when life gets busy.
Life will get busy, and your accountability or commitment may slip. But you have that check-in point to re-energize and be re-motivated to continue.
If you're capable but tired of carrying it all yourself, this is likely the support you've been missing.
Learn More About The Breakthrough 2026
Two Questions for You
Ask yourself now:
1. Where are you using willpower instead of support
Is it with your goals? Is it in your business?
2. What would feel lighter if you didn't do it alone?
For me, it's funny. For my health and fitness, I've always played sports. I laugh because I've said numerous times: I will run because the coach tells me. I will complete the drills during practice because I’m doing them with my team.
You Don't Need to Become Someone Else
I know there's a lot of hype right now around "new year, new you," but you don't have to become someone else. You don't need to buy into the hustle culture. You don't need more grit.
Instead, you need support to stay aligned. It's not a weakness. It's a very wise decision.
This year can feel lighter. This year, you can reach all of your goals, and you don't have to do it solo.
Join The Breakthrough. Doors are closing, so you'll want to get in now.
I'm always curious: what was it about this that helped you or intrigued you? What have been some takeaways? I'm always open to hearing it. You can email me: [email protected].
Until next time, stay dynamic!